so, am back at that same spot I’m at, infront of my computer, endless blank pages, with so much to let out. needless to say, a good friend of mine reminded me, its never too late to follow what you’ve always loved doing, whether its art, music, compositions, analytical problem solving, serving people, or simply just being you. in search of all that is a process, where sometimes you’d have to lose yourself, break down into even much more than your current state. Its a matter of acceptance and growth. You’re only going to grow stronger than you’ve ever been in your life when your at point zero. When you’re on the verge of losing everything you’ve ever worked hard for, may it be career wise, relationship wise (family and friendship) or self attainment in which you once thought you we’re complete, it would need to fall to pieces, before you know within your true self, what you’re missing in life to achieve that sense of happiness within.
People would often say they’re happy, I think to myself ? Really, how happy? Is it self contentment, or simply a mask that many would wear and merely say that they’re happy, but deep down, we all know, more than anything else its just that gut feeling of emptiness within.
“You can’t fake genuine happiness, more-so a genuine smile”
I honestly don’t think that’s true, because I have hard proof that I can fake my genuine smile.
Many have fallen in and out of love with that bullshit smile of mine, and my, oh my, its only brought upon me such trouble, pain, misery and of course that melancholic feeling I deal with everyday.
Then again, no regrets, I’ve learnt more of how life is, and how it usually ends up playing out in the past months of trying to escape reality, than living and being in that reality of my “oh so happy (fairytale) ending” and I believe my closest friends can attest.
I watched THE VOW earlier today with 2 of my really good friends, and WILD! I’m so tempted to actually critique the movie because its one of my hobbies, to just be my opinionated self and give imput on what made that movie such a hit. I actually think its such a cliched movie though. More often than not, you see real life couples - in that actual situation; to bring back that mutual feeling of love, or how to make your partner fall in love with you again whether or not the feeling is mutual and regardless if that certain kind of feeling still exists in each others’ whole being. To make your partner/spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/loved one fall back into your arms with just one click - is it really that easy? doable?? I know for a fact that all around me, that’s happening, its happening. That one challenge to bring that person you once loved, back to where he or she was at- At one point, you were their CENTER of their universe and everything, every one bit of decision, their every breath and every movement merely summed to be on how it would effect you. Now its simply a maze, a puzzle, an obstacle, a rollercoaster ride for that person to simply just have that 1 percent feeling of recognition. Recognition of that LOVE that once was felt, the love that was once there, the love that was once worth fighting for, regardless of what hardships they had to face as THE couple.
Some give up, LEO (channing Tatum’s character) chose to let go to see if it was fate to bring them back together and of course for audiences’ likings, movie-wise, it would end up as such cliched love stories.
But there was this one line - Leo: How do you look at the one you love and tell yourself it’s time to walk away.
SO, How do you know when to stop, give up and walk away?
you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder
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